Two Weeks Notice

Well. It has officially been 2 weeks since my plane landed in Edinburgh, Scotland–my home for the next 4 1/2 months. Wow, would it be crazy to tell you that it feels like I’ve been here forever? From the people I have met to the things we have done, I feel like I have walked this city my whole life. *pause for flashback* okay well, maybe not my whole life. If I had I probably wouldn’t have misunderstood the angry professor that asked me twice “what I was doing” not “how are you doing?” when I walked into the wrong clossroom. My response was, of course,” I am doing fine, thank you,” thinking to myself “gosh, how nice that they ask that right when you walk in”…Way ta go, gen. Way to go. I immediately scurried away and avoided eye contact with the 30 other students in the room with laughter fighting to escape from their faces. Oh, and I probably would have known not to conversate so loudly on public transportation and therefore avoided the irate fellow who told me and my friend to kindly…”shut the f**** up!” Oh, Scotland. How sassy you are.¬†

Anyway, other than those two people and the impatient bus drivers, everyone I have met has been SO friendly and kind. The first person I met from Edinburgh was this old woman in the security line at the godforsaken Heathrow airport who encouraged me and told me all the things I would love about the city. The second person was the elderly fellow who drove me in a taxi from the Edinburgh Airport to my flat with whom I conversated about everything under the sun for about a solid hour as we waited for another girl to arrive. He talked to me about things I needed to see, the Referendum (which, if you don’t know, is the vote to decide whether or not Scotland wants to remain a part of the United Kingdom or if it wants to become independent of jolly ol’ England), and the fact that he met Tom Hanks and the creator of O.P.I ¬†Nail Polish because he drove both of their daughters to St. Andrews. In short, this man was a godsend and eased my nervousness quite a lot.¬†

He dropped me off at 34/12 Wright’s Houses–my quaint little flat. The Wright’s Houses are squished¬†quite wonderfully between¬†one of the oldest and most beloved pubs in all of Edinburgh of which my friends and I are now veritable regulars–The Golf Tavern–and the Chinese Christian Church with its towering and gothic looking steeple. From the moment that nice old man dropped me off at my front stoop, life has been a whirlwind. I feel as if I haven’t stopped moving very much. I am really only still when one of my best new friends¬†Danielle¬†and I are watching….*side eye to make sure no one is looking and whispers*¬†¬†Gossip Girl or if I am sleeping. That is probably way I am sniffling and wiping nose leakage from my face as I write this…sorry I am not sorry.¬†

‚ÄčAnywhoo, I sort of knew it was going to be like this before I left, at least in the beginning. F.O.M.O. has hit me full on, folks. Oh yeah, I’ve got it bad. Fear Of Missing Out. It is in a lot of ways a childish problem filled with insecurity. I just really don’t want to miss out on any bonding and new experiences. I have this problem at home too but this is even worse because I am in a NEW place with NEW people where forming NEW relationships is essential for a relationally dependent person like me. I think that is one of the first lessons I am going to learn here–how to truly be comfortable with just me. Because, the truth of the matter is if I don’t give myself time to be still and reflect then I will lose myself and my energy and my spirit very quickly.¬†

I am beginning to learn to listen to the “me” inside that gently nudges for time to indulge in practices that create peace and self-confidence like reading, journaling, praying, writing and just sitting in silence. If you can’t be alone with yourself and your own thoughts for more than an hour then how should we expect anyone else to?

So, there’s that haha. On another note, I really do love it here so much. The city is haunting in beauty and the prospect of new people and new adventures around every corner is captivating. My friends and I are already planning¬†trips around Scotland and¬†to other countries, two¬†of which I am supremely excited about…DUBLIN FOR ST.PATRICK’S DAYYYYY…and AMSTERDAM FOR VALENTINE’S DAY (ahh, the city of a great love affair with the temptress Mary Jane).¬†

My prayer would just be that as my life crosses with others and leads me on new paths, my spirit and self would not unravel but, at each crossroads, pick up a new thread so that at the end of it all, I am more colorful, more intricate, fuller and warmer than before. 

Well, I have so much more to say but if I know anything about the friends and family that will hopefully be reading this, you have already tuned out a bit due to your knowledge of how I get when I ramble on excitedly about something. 

Til next time, CHEERS ūüôā¬†

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